Hello my dears,
So I'm trying something new. This brilliant idea came from my friend CA. This review is for you CA. This is a complement to my non spoiler review of The Cursed Child and is full of SPOILERS and just basically a rant about the atrocity of The Cursed Child. So I'm not going to tell about characters so to get a feel for them read my non spoiler filled review .
Ok this play was written not by J.K. as we have been led to believe but by Jack Thorne, which honestly explains a lot. I mean first of all Harry James Potter who his whole life just wanted a family would not tell his son "Some times I wish you weren't my son. No just no. But more importantly the plot just didn't make sense. Delphi who is some how Voldemort and Belatrix's daughter, wants to bring Cedric back because according to this prophecy that will allow Voldemort to win the Battle of Hogwarts??? Yeah that is confusing and then you add time travel into the mix to make it all possible and it gets crazy. But there is one major problems here. Cedric Diggory would never become a death-eater and definitely not because he was humiliated. But the AUs that happen with time travel are hilarious. But don't forget that Scorpius is also rumored to be Voldemort's son. The rumor is that Draco and Astoria couldn't have a child and so the Malfoy's sent Astoria back in time to have a child with Voldemort. And so at one point because he and Albus are having problems because Harry is sooo out of character rather than use his influential position in the ministry and as the Boy Who Lived to dispel this rumor Harry investigates it because he and Malfoy can't get along at all. But they go back in time several times and at one point in a present day AU Hermione didn't go to the Yule Ball with Krum and so never got together with Ron and Ron married Padma??? After they successfully bring Cedric back for Amos, because they think that they're just bringing back a sad old man's son, Albus doesn't exist, Hermione and Ron never got together, Scorpius is the King of Hogwarts, its Voldemort day, and the salute "For Voldemort and Valor" OMG. But best of all Snape's alive. How you ask. Well I don't know. Honestly this breaks so many laws of time travel. All Cedric did was kill Neville before he could kill Nagini, which wouldn't keep Snape alive. But somehow he's alive in a way the defies all logic. Then everybody goes back in time and Harry gave Albus this blanket in the present day "normal", I use this word lightly, universe and love potion got spilled on it and then they write a message on the blanket by putting some kind of ingredient on it that reacts with the love potion and Harry, Draco, Ron, and Hermione all end up in Godric's Hollow the night Lily and James died. Harry turns in to Voldemort to fool Delphi and save the world because he can speak Parseltongue. It's complicated. However the best parts are when Albus has to kiss Hermione because he's disguised as Ron to steal a time-turner from the Ministry, and the past when Scorpius sees Bathilda Bagshot and says "Wow. Squeak. My geekness is a-quivering". And no squeak is not a stage direction. All in all this play was horrible but hilarious. Definitely my least favorite book.
Hope you enjoyed this,
Merlin:)
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